i. (kc) was the catalyst the first to convince me that I could be loved and the only one to make me believe I was capable of loving back ...for about two weeks.
ii. then (jt) arrived popular suave and dorkily crushing on the one girl who couldn't return his affections. but it wasn't until the first time I heard my name and 'beautiful' in the same sentence that i realized there might be faultlines in my heart shaking the love out of my body like lunch money from a scrawny kid's pockets.
iii. the first time i broke someone the process was anything but (sl)ow and it was then that i realized i was getting too comfortable sleeping with regret, curled up like a black cat beside me.
iv. fortunately for me (je) had 20/20 vision. he saw through the mask, forced me to face myself until i couldn't help but punch my own reflection and though his words almost convinced me that i could be saved his empty stare reminded me that i wasn't worth the trouble.
v. looking back, the initials should've warned me that he would be the (ss) to our sinking ship, that we were fated to drown. but he was coldstronghard as metal and it took me a two years, one month, and one day to learn that even silver can be tarnished.
vi. the name was fitting, i guess. (jr) was finer than any greek hero and were he a god, I would've named the planets after him too. he was as reckless as the roman empire scratching himself on the thorns of my soul just to find something worth saving. was it because of compassion or guilt or shame that I put Ariadne's string in his hands so he could navigate his way out and run for his life. maybe it was because I was so used to the echoes in my head IendeditIendeditIendedit that through the tears, I still managed to smile at the words he ended it.