Oct 2014
blink
now you're 5 years old again
waiting for mommy to sing to you and tell you everything will be okay
after scraping your knee on the drive way while running around
until daddy comes home from wherever he is
blink
now you're 10
mommy's leaving for work and you're crying so hard
because you don't want her to leave
you're not used to being around just daddy
because he's never usually home
so you run down the stairs but the doors already closed
and her headlights are pulling out of the driveway
and down the road she goes
blink
now you're 13
mom and dad are fighting again
you close your eyes and scream into your pillow to muffle the noise
but even the whistle from the train down the road
or the whooshing in your ears that sound like waves
from not eating in three days
can't quite the fighting
blink
15
you're eyes are glazed and heavy
and the smoke pouring from your lips tastes funny but
the walls are spinning and though you never liked carnival rides
it feels like one now as you sit on an uneven stool
in your best friends garage
and inhale the burning substance that makes things funny and
helps you forget about the impending argument
that's happening at home
blink
18
white toilet bowls and shaky hands
quickly you flush down the granola you forced down
that morning
before rushing out of the door before
dads new girlfriend could say hi
walking down the hallway
of the old apartment building
the tiles start to move
and its like you smoked that strange plant again
but this time the corners of the hallway are getting dark
and it feels like you've been walking for
f o r e v e r
so you grab the wall next to you
as the floor rushes up and everything goes
*black
now you're 5 years old again
waiting for mommy to sing to you and tell you everything will be okay
after scraping your knee on the drive way while running around
until daddy comes home from wherever he is
blink
now you're 10
mommy's leaving for work and you're crying so hard
because you don't want her to leave
you're not used to being around just daddy
because he's never usually home
so you run down the stairs but the doors already closed
and her headlights are pulling out of the driveway
and down the road she goes
blink
now you're 13
mom and dad are fighting again
you close your eyes and scream into your pillow to muffle the noise
but even the whistle from the train down the road
or the whooshing in your ears that sound like waves
from not eating in three days
can't quite the fighting
blink
15
you're eyes are glazed and heavy
and the smoke pouring from your lips tastes funny but
the walls are spinning and though you never liked carnival rides
it feels like one now as you sit on an uneven stool
in your best friends garage
and inhale the burning substance that makes things funny and
helps you forget about the impending argument
that's happening at home
blink
18
white toilet bowls and shaky hands
quickly you flush down the granola you forced down
that morning
before rushing out of the door before
dads new girlfriend could say hi
walking down the hallway
of the old apartment building
the tiles start to move
and its like you smoked that strange plant again
but this time the corners of the hallway are getting dark
and it feels like you've been walking for
f o r e v e r
so you grab the wall next to you
as the floor rushes up and everything goes
*black
(25/F)
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