blink now you're 5 years old again waiting for mommy to sing to you and tell you everything will be okay after scraping your knee on the drive way while running around until daddy comes home from wherever he is
blink now you're 10 mommy's leaving for work and you're crying so hard because you don't want her to leave you're not used to being around just daddy because he's never usually home so you run down the stairs but the doors already closed and her headlights are pulling out of the driveway and down the road she goes
blink now you're 13 mom and dad are fighting again you close your eyes and scream into your pillow to muffle the noise but even the whistle from the train down the road or the whooshing in your ears that sound like waves from not eating in three days can't quite the fighting
blink 15 you're eyes are glazed and heavy and the smoke pouring from your lips tastes funny but the walls are spinning and though you never liked carnival rides it feels like one now as you sit on an uneven stool in your best friends garage and inhale the burning substance that makes things funny and helps you forget about the impending argument that's happening at home
blink 18 white toilet bowls and shaky hands quickly you flush down the granola you forced down that morning before rushing out of the door before dads new girlfriend could say hi walking down the hallway of the old apartment building the tiles start to move and its like you smoked that strange plant again but this time the corners of the hallway are getting dark and it feels like you've been walking for f o r e v e r so you grab the wall next to you as the floor rushes up and everything goes *black