do you remember the time
you asked me what my fears were?

do you remember the deafening silence
before you said that you feared yourself?

i remember

your hands shook as you told me
that the monsters under your bed
were beginning to sleep beside you
and how their voices are
starting to become the voices
in your head

i remember your restrained tears
when you said that you feel your
heartbeat weakening and your end coming
and you said that that was actually
not what you feared

you said you feared your indifference
to death and how you were beginning
to agree with the nightmares that say
to you that death is sweeter than life

and you said that you were afraid
of how i might get hurt when you go

do you remember what i said?

i bet you do

because you stopped talking after
and i just want to clear that up

when i said “you’re already gone”,

it did not mean that you are no longer
of any significance to me

those words meant that i can see you
i can feel your trembling hand in mine
i can hear your anxious heartbeat

but you are not here

this is not you

this is your emptiness
taking your place