Sometimes I
Wake up terrified
Crying
Jumping
You
Creep up in my nightmares
Slither in a little bit further each time
Sneak in from behind and
Touch
My back with your finger
Get it away from me
Graze
The back of my neck
I break out in a sweat
Pet
The top of my head
The air escapes from my lungs and I suffocate
Rub
The length of my arm
I cannot breathe I am frozen
Kiss
All the way down my spine
My vision blurs, I wish I could collapse
Lick
The lobe of my ear
I heave and gag and I cannot-
Caress
With his words my tortured soul
Please
Please
Let me go
But
You crawl into
The only place you know I cannot shut you out
Push you away
You trap me
Make me remember I have no right to seek happiness when you took it away from me
But I am a fighter
You may visit and torment me every night but
I have a grip on reality
And with someone's hand to hold I anchor myself in a world where
You
No longer exist and
I
Allow myself to laugh and smile

Now people call me sunshine.