I went over the conversation in my head
played the parts with conviction over and over,
phrases discarded and rearranged until I was sure
I was saying exactly what needing saying, and how

And then I finally hear your voice on the phone
and all my plans scatter like dry leaves in autumn
I answer that I don't know how I am, how we are
since you're always too busy to talk, to see me

You hear my voice, sharp and brittle as broken glass,
Do you hear the hurt/anger/sadness your absence left?
That's harsh you say, and you're right
but how can I continue to fight these feelings you left me with
as you ran away from your own, hiding yourself away?
I apologize, you say it's okay, it was deserved--it was, but it wasn't necessary

why can't I be stronger--what happened to that strength you saw in me?
Did you take it with you, like Delilah taking Samson's hair?
I had it, once, and used it to build a world that we shared
now that you're gone my heart has been ripped open,
my emotions a live wire that shock all who come near

This isn't what I wanted when we got together,
I know you feel the same,
we're trapped in webs of our own design.