I feel
in the great divide
of life and death.
You'll be there first,
and that scares me.
That I will be alone
scared
no advice
your face pasted to
a stupid website
that doesn't matter
people pretend
like you were perfect,
but we know.
You weren't,
but you loved
and now
I'm crying.

Hoping to die first,
life *****
I know.
To say otherwise would be
ignorant.
However
thinking of
the picture
your coffin
the clothing
your eyes closed
and my hands on yours clasping.
It
makes me
weak.

Bone white skin
a lifeless blue lips
contrasted by
gorgeous locks of heaven
and a black suit.
My oily skin
holding tightly to yours
my head screaming
for you to wake up.
Hoping that
the golden chariot
was your ride to
where ever you are,
and that one day.
I'll be holding your hand.

I love you,
and it scares me to
death.