i love you the way it hurts
the way it frightens me
for i think i may be in love
and being in love is a terrifying thing
you become vulnerable, exposed, liable
i am afraid
of myself
and  that is not a foreign feeling for me
but this sticky sweet illness is
and you are unlike anyone id expect to care about me
and that has nothing to do with me doubting others truth in loving me
i spend hours writing frantically, listening, reading, singing, crying,dreaming,screaming
you calm me
because i am so often a raging ocean
though the half of it you've never seen
things youve never heard or read
consequential, confidential words
conversations deeper than rivers
but with you every sound that leaves my mouth is meaningless
i ramble on about senseless things
i am afraid of you knowing me
so i'll hide the things i always have
my clandestine self