I don’t know,
it might just be the summer deceiving my senses, or all these new books I read, or all all these new words I learn, but I’m becoming someone I’m not yet familiar with
and it keeps my eyes open wide.
It might just be July and simple mornings
or the way he says my name
or the way I stay up late
waiting for a word or two, as a small reminder of being known,
but I am becoming someone I’m not yet familiar with, and it’s quite a wonderful feeling. It’s like the first day in a new city and every road is a new adventure, leading to something new. I catch myself in the mirror, making movements and thinking thoughts I never once did,
and it’s quite a different thing, the discovery of myself, from a different side of the sea. A different side of me,
for I’ve been lonely and angry, at myself and everyone else
but there was this day this spring, when all fell into place and I took a breath and let things go.
I took a breath and let it go
and suddenly the air was crisper
and my lungs lighter
and suddenly
there was him
saying my name
in different ways
and I catch myself throwing glances in the mirror,
seeing someone I don’t know
quite yet
but I can’t wait to,
and that is the start of everything.

I have hope in who I am becoming,
and that is the start of everything.