<Warning: This is brutal, I apologise if i upset.>
There is a scream beginning to resound in the caverns of my mind Echoing around, bouncing forth and scratching at the walls There is no sound to this unearthly yell, no form or function precise It gives it's life to all i have seen, existence in calamitous expression It cannot be ignored or pushed back into the depths To writhe and tremble with the other demons thirsting for a chance It exists as much as i can be, as real as anything here Within i see many things, for the scream, the scream is me. My mind is breathless as i am crushed by the lives i am responsible for The empty accusing eyes stare sightlessly as they pin me to the floor My scream is soundless here, however theirs is not The empty lungs sound continuously, a cacophony of regret This is not my scream, not my sound but theirs, for my grief For they made their choice, as did i, it was me that walked away It is for those that could not choose, had no choice, no freedom to exist The children that paid the toll for the choices adults made I've seen their tiny bodies bleeding out into the dust Eyes in desperate incomprehension look at me hope i will make things right And i cannot do anything but sigh in self disgust. I didn't take those little lives i was supposed to protect But it was i that had to watch them die, filled with remorse and regret To yell within my echoing mind, why not me my life for theirs And there is no power watching to make a deal with my despair. That is where the scream began, all those years ago and far away For every experience similar it has grown and developed teeth And now it warps around my mind, suffocating thought Because children are dying is an acceptable phrase and i rage because it's so Rage again for i am powerless to change such a fate, mine and theirs So i roar back in fury at the scream resounding through mind For it's my face screaming back at me in eternal, cacophonous agony.