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Jul 2014
The worst feeling in the world is that of realization.
Not realization as in enlightenment.
Realization as in that crushing moment when your wold falls and cumbles landing on your already broken heart.
Realization is when it hits you.
He's not yours anymore.
You can't text him anymore
He's not gonna tell you everything is okay.
He's never gonna say he loves you anymore.
He doesn't
You do.
He has moved on
You haven't.
He has a new girlfriend
It makes you cry.
He ignores you
You reach out to him as though searching for a lifeline.
As if a single hello will pull you out of the waters your drowning in.
Realization hurts.
Like when it hits that as your crying alone he's in another girls embrace.
As your breaking down
She's holding your world.
As you sit blade poised over your wrist.
She's kissing him and he's saying he loves her.
Just like he said to you.
He knows he hurt you
He doesn't care
He knows your crying
He wont be their.
He never will
Ever again.
After I put this pen down I'm done.
I'm going to block him
Delete the messages
Forget he once resided in my heart.
And move on.
So I can he happy.
This realization wont destroy me.
I won't let it.
Ever.
my first spoken word, i found it while looking through my old poems from last year.
Xander King
Written by
Xander King  21/Non-binary/Oregon
(21/Non-binary/Oregon)   
2.3k
   Poppy
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