God knows I want it
I want to do it so badly,
I'm not entirely sure I can stop myself.
Imagine if every feeling you had was pain.
Happiness was like knives in your stomach,
Sadness equaled blades to your heart
Anger left you staggering and blind
and fear left you bleeding from your wrists.
For so long I thought I could bleed away that pain.
Now,
I know I can **** it away.
Step 1: Find a guy,
Then you're happy
Step 2: Convince that guy to like you
It doesn't matter if he has feelings for you,
as long as he'll *****
Step 3: **** him
Then you stop hurting
Step 4: Break his heart.
Then, you stop feeling.
Lying, cheating, stealing time,
just to get my drug.
If I can't find you,
I take a long steamy shower,
ignoring the banging on the bathroom door,
my family telling me I'm taking too long.
I don't know if I want to stop.
I hate this pain.
I hate this.
Pain,
brings me down,
I want to stay in my room all day.
I want to stay inside with the doors locked,
I want to stop feeling.
I want to die.
No, I want to stop hurting.
I want to live,
and stop hurting.