Every day is a strenuous battle just to keep marching forward.
The future terrifies me.
I can only hope I won't hurt then as much as I do now...
But, sometimes soldiers need to retire.
That doesn't make me weak, but vulnerable.
I'm an open target
but I'm on the verge of collapsing.
There aren't enough words to describe how I feel every day,
none strong enough or meaningful enough to describe this pain buried deep into my bones.
I want to ascend away, far, far away from here.

*What the ****
am I supposed to do?
I can't always hold onto false hope.