I’m too much. I’ve heard it in every sigh, seen it in every glance that lingers just a second too long— the weight of me suffocating the space between us.
I ask for too much, but it never feels like it. I don’t ask for the world, just the bare minimum: A little attention. A little care. A little proof that I matter.
But somehow, even that’s too heavy. Too big. Too loud.
I’ve learned to bite my tongue, to shrink myself down to something easier to swallow. Soft-spoken. Simple. Small. An echo of who I was, because maybe then, I’ll be easier to love.
Spoiler alert: I’m not.
I’m always too needy, too messy, too complicated. The kind of person you put up with, but never choose. The kind of person you forget as soon as the door closes.
I feel it every time I reach out, fingers trembling in the dark, hoping someone will hold on— only to find the emptiness waiting for me again.
I want to scream, “I don’t want much!” Just to feel seen. Just to not be forgotten. Just to be the kind of person who matters to someone— even for a little while.
But I’ve learned how this goes. I ask, and I become too much. I stay quiet, and I become invisible.
Caught somewhere between being too heavy to carry and too easy to leave behind.
So, I sit with the weight of it. The loneliness. The ache that tells me I’ve always been replaceable. A body that takes up space but never quite fits anywhere.
And the worst part? I still keep hoping. Still keep waiting for someone to see me and not run.