I wish heartbreak came with a manual. But honestly, would it even help? I imagine it would be contradicting and maybe go something like this: "You may experience the feeling that you are walking away from the rarest love you'll ever experience... But don't you worry, because even if you stay a little longer, eventually you'll convince yourself you don't love them anymore, just enough to finally end it. Give it a week. Oh, there it is... You feel that? THAT feeling is the numbness wearing off and only remembering the happy parts." Or some ******* like that. Probably nothing that specific though... Only enough to have the majority relate. I imagine the narrator would sound overly enthusiastic...Which is hilariously inappropriate ... But, really, is it that hilarious?
I thought getting older and having experience in dating would result in all of this **** becoming less confusing... But it really just feels worse every time for me. At the end, I couldn't even differentiate the pain and anger from the source. Did he create this suffering? Was it my reaction that set the course? Was this all in my head and I was just overeacting? Or was I justified to feel this ******? Even if I was justified, would it have even made a difference? It really got lost in translation, and I feel like I got lost in identifying that. Was this a hypnotic trance from narcissism manipulating the narration or was it using my reaction as an excuse to self-sabotage? I just want to know what really happened. I think that's the scariest part. Am I so broken, I convince myself it was them? Well, ****. What are you still reading for? I don't have the ******* answer.