the steel blue of your eyes fixated on me
like my presence was a gift in itself
the calloused tips of your fingers
grazing over my skin and pulling me close
you held me like nothing else mattered
as if time itself had stopped and given us this moment

the good morning messages and the evening calls
we fell asleep together even when we weren't
your subtle snores down the phone
replacing the heartbeat i'd hear resting on your chest
but sometimes we'd stay up until the sun broke through our windows
not regretting a moment of lost sleep

the walks along the common no matter the weather
to that place by the playground where we'd lie and spot planes
and you'd laugh and say it wasn't a competition
but we both knew that was only because you were losing
the same grass upon which you took the picture of a flower in my hand
it's wearing away but you still keep it in your wallet

your dogs jumping up and greeting me at the door
and your mother's smile when she sees me enter
us playing football with your brother in the garden
and laughing over slow motion replays of goals scored
i felt so at home in your home
as if your family was mine, like there was a special place for me

now i'm left wondering what to do
how am i meant to fill this enormous void
of the life that we had molded together
you had become a part of me
and i don't know how to separate it and become whole on my own