my descent into Darkness; i remember how beautiful It felt. being swallowed into The Pitiful Abyss until i was sealed underneath Its surface. it was pure Bliss. numbing my emotions, Its darkness encapsulated my feelings, keeping them buried out of sight. falling diving sliding sinking. the days grazed into nothingness. the agony was gone. It felt wonderful. there were fires burning above the surface but no longer were they felt by me, only others. It was a beautiful descent. yet as i slowly began to lose my breath, Its pain began to to pierce my lungs, asphyxiating me by means of emotional strangulation. my unbearable grief fired into my bloodstream, the effects worse than ******, and without the pleasure. It's flooding through my veins as tears endlessly cascaded down my cheeks. "How did I get here?" the pain became unavoidable, unbearable. but how can you become what you already are? it was then when i realized: i wasn't sinking into the Abyss, i was drowning inside of It.
1-31-2022 (i don’t condone drug use and have never done ****** fyi, just a metaphor.)