I miss you doesn’t quite fill the gaps.
Holding onto something I never quite really had.
A break up before a relationships hurts more than the actual heartbreak.
The shattering of a love narrative I often wish I had.
I tend to break the glass before it falls.
A preempted move.
An unconscious notion to write a story before it happens.
It’s muscle movement of instincts to protect the fragile parts of myself.
The destruction of a relationship before it could blossom.
I thank myself for surviving this long;
But I have forgotten how to live in my after story.  
Trust.
Love.
Faith.
Hope.
Things I once could never afford.
I find myself in debt to those past experiences.
Never quite knowing how to presently spend myself.