you connected the freckles on my arms with your calligraphy pen like they were constellations and i was the night sky
your hand held my arms still as you inked them and i stopped breathing and started breathing faster at the same time my mind couldn't remind my head not to fall in love and my heart was beating in my arms right under your hand right under your pen
but the illusion shatters when you say, don't worry, i torment gwen like this all the time
and i wish it didn't because ap government is dismal there's too much reality in there and i just want to be wrapped up in the idea of you
but that's not fair so i just stare at the constellations you made of me and wish they meant something as i try to stop getting so dizzy around you
i tell myself it works
i think i need to like... "be in love" as a defence mechanism. which sounds weird, ik. it's probably abandonment issues or smth lol.
anyway, if this ******* keeps making me love her i'm going to break her kneecaps backwards <3