your comfort movie is three hours long and it makes you cry so hard you get a headache, but you watch it so much you have every line memorized. does anything about that seem even a little bit healthy?
you think all of your friends find you annoying but they don't want to hurt your feelings so you don't go to them when you need to
it's so hard to belong anywhere why don't you belong anywhere?
you've had this poem in your drafts for months not knowing what to say the other one was so bad but it didn't really get that much better
i know you wanted it to get better
but i won't apologize because i was ******* right
i won't get better until you do and right now you just surround yourself with people who don't want to love you all the way and you do things that you know will leave you exhausted because you think that people will want you if you just did more things do you see where this is going?
because i can tell you that you're going to end up burned out and full of regret so heavy that you'll drown i can say over and over again that you're wasting your time and everyone else's time
and i'd be right because you're doing everything for the wrong reasons you're keeping people around for the wrong reasons
but i can't do anything because i'm just the sick ******* in your head putting you through hell so it doesn't seem as bad when you get there
you don't have to listen to me but i can see the ******* future
and you don't get better until i do and right now the people that surround you don't love to want you all the way and you exhaust things that you know will leave you because you do things that people think of wanting
do i see where this is going?
dude idfk. i kinda just wanna get high off my *** rn.
you connected the freckles on my arms with your calligraphy pen like they were constellations and i was the night sky
your hand held my arms still as you inked them and i stopped breathing and started breathing faster at the same time my mind couldn't remind my head not to fall in love and my heart was beating in my arms right under your hand right under your pen
but the illusion shatters when you say, don't worry, i torment gwen like this all the time
and i wish it didn't because ap government is dismal there's too much reality in there and i just want to be wrapped up in the idea of you
but that's not fair so i just stare at the constellations you made of me and wish they meant something as i try to stop getting so dizzy around you
i tell myself it works
i think i need to like... "be in love" as a defence mechanism. which sounds weird, ik. it's probably abandonment issues or smth lol.
anyway, if this ******* keeps making me love her i'm going to break her kneecaps backwards <3