I put stockings on my head and robbed the corner store for gum

I ran down the train tracks naked with just my sneakers on

I went into a church and smoked a cigarette
Put it out in the holy water  
Something I'll never forget

I stole wine and brandy from my mom
Decided I would tie one on
But ended up ******* the bed instead

I was a dreadful mess by the age of 10
Should have seen it coming then