I spend my hours lonely
Staring at a phone that doesn't ring
Lying to myself
Pretending not to feel the sting
Around my room in laps I pace
Because it is hard to stay standing still
Restless and anxious
I can't concentrate
Distress is too strong to ****
A tiny part of me is relieved
To see you haven't changed at all
It makes it easier to stand nt ground
When back to you I want to crawl
You must be a magician
Putting me under a spell
With one wave of your wand enchanted
Conjuring heaven
We're really in hell
You keep my adoration in your pocket
Instead of in your heart
It's obvious I am the only half affected
When our lives are forced apart
It feels as though I inhabit a cage
Only when you disappear
Your absence holds me captive
Then am freed when you get near
Dancing on a narrow line
Seperating sense and satiety
If I succumb to my shameful desires
That means forfeiting my sanity
Trapped behind bars inside my brain
Cannot escape my expectations
Disappointment is inevitable
Yet I still surrender to sweet temptation
Shades of blue inside and out
Mixed with the occasional grey or black
All other colors vanished with my trust
I'm pretty sure they're not coming back
Cloaked in heavy misery
Weighs down my overwhelmed soul
You don't even have the decency
To return all the time that you stole
You placed stars directly in my eyes
Just so you could watch them burn out
Ignorance was comfortable
Til you showed me what I now live without
Silence chokes with an icy grip
Solitude freezes spirit right through my skin
No matter how many games you play with my emotions
I still participate although it's impossible to win