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Mar 2021
I left to defend our home,
I left to defend what was right,
But when I came back,
I was broken
                         and you knew.

You saw the fires of passion,
The light of my desires,
The warmth of my smile.
Yet when I came back they were gone.

You knew that what I'd seen,
What I had done
In those rolling hills of sand and rock
Broke me, and yet you did nothing.

I gave my heart and soul to you,
You gave me a child with it.
But now I don't know.
Whether it was mine or not.

You were my home,
Yet when I came back
You turned around and closed the door.
Now I look through a window.

And watch as my daughter
Doesn't even recognize me.
She's afraid of me
And I don't know why.

And that.
That is what leaves me shattered.
It makes all those horrors come alive.
Everything I thought I had left behind.

I don't see myself in the mirror,
I see what I was,
I see all the people whose lives
Ended with the reflection in my eyes.

I see my brother's and my sisters,
Not by blood but by Creed,
I see the innocents that caught
Between us and those against us.

And I can see the pity in their eyes.
Now I know who really got lucky,
It wasn't me but them.
For they don't have any worries.

They left those for the ones who survived,
They cried as they left us,
I cried because I couldn't save them,
And now I cry because no one can save me.

My resolve becomes thinner each day,
I stopped myself once,
But my time is near.
I will join you soon.

For there is nothing left for me here.
No loved ones left.
No one who would chase away my demons.
No one to anchor me.

This is no longer my home.
But I'll be there soon...
I loved you more than you know.
This will be my goodbye...
                                                 One day.
Sorin L Javerin
Written by
Sorin L Javerin  25/M/USA
(25/M/USA)   
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