she came up behind me,
curled her long fingers into my scalp
****** in air through her teeth,
and lowly she said,
"How long has it been since you've showered?"
embarrassment is an understatement.
I laugh, shuffling nervously in my seat,
feeling beyond disgusting
replying with
"sad."
she repeats the word back, tasting it
as if it were a question,
as if she didn't know
then she said it quieter.
"sad. i get sad too. try to take one tonight, okay?
do it for me?"
i hold back tears
for reasons I'm not yet sure of
and breathe.
I want to be strong enough to do it
but I'm not sure that I am