I'm sorry for all this
For the way I left
Abandoning you
At the worst time
I left you...
Without hesitance
The way I left ...
It just wasn't right

I left for a fresh start
I hoped I could still see and hear you
But my hopes came crashing down today
And I'm left in my broken shell

So this is our "family" now...
Broken and falling apart,
All because I was selfish...
I'd rather abandon you
For my selfish desire
Than suffer for you
So you could still see the good in "family"

And for some reason,
I can't help but wonder...
What if I didn't do anything?
And I kept my mouth shut?
Would our "family" have gotten
Better...
Worse...
Would there be more damage?
Mental or physical or verbal?

I shouldn't have done this
But here I sit
Questioning my decisions
Wondering if I changed anything?
Did I made your lives a living nightmare?
Drugs and abuse...
Alcohol and arguments...
Did I do it?

Dear little sister I'm sorry,
I probably shattered your heart...
You were so innocent and I broke that...
You watched me leave you...
Not looking back as you were ripped from my arms
By "mother" as he looked on
Still yelling with each other as we cry in each others arms
I'm mumbling so many apologizes

Dear little brother I'm sorry,
You have to be unhappy now...
You have to take on my role as protector...
I never wanted this for you...
You weren't supposed to become me...
Broken and afraid of what happens next...
You may still be mentally together but you're afraid...
Of what will happen to you and *****...
You probably are wondering where I am?
I wish I could tell you...
It breaks me to think of you anything like me

Dear both of you,
God I'm so **** sorry for this!
I'm sorry for everything to come,
Past, Present, and Future
Both of you deserve better

Darling Brother and Innocent Sister,
I'm Sorry For My Happiness
As It Has Caused You Pain
Stay innocent and don't ever leave each other behind.
Don't do what I did...
Even for happiness...
Don't leave each other...
I hope that one day,
You Can Forgive Me

Sincerely,
Your Big Sister Who Is Regretting Everyday Without You