I won’t forget the way your eyes look down upon me
The condescension in your voice
The laughs
I won’t forget the dismissal of my pain
My grief
As the horrors of my inadequacy confine me
Hurt me terribly so
But maybe you like my pain
My fright
I want to prove you wrong
That my life is as worthy as yours
But my throat closes around me
It lists me in
Turns me inside out
Exposes my innards and true dark horrors
That of which I’m nothing
Nothing
Nothing worth more
Your very existence continues to triumph mine
While my own breath wastes away
I want you to hurt
As badly as I do
But I cannot hurt you
You’re too much for me to handle
You eat me away at every core
I hate you
I hate you
Why am I not enough
Why was I cursed in this feeble body
My self pity does me no good
While yours gives you an army
Don’t look at me
I know how little you think of me
I want to cut my throat and bash my arms
Bleed all over you
Give you all of my struggles
Be free of my deference