And I'll whisper your name on my lips
That brief moment when I could still feel you there
It's an empty space that I don't wish to replace
anytime soon
You meet certain people at the right time
They come into your life for a few minutes, hours
even years
Sometimes you get those people who are meant to be
lessons, mixed up with the ones who will always stay
And sometimes you fall so ******* hard
you stumble through the days
Forget time exists
Your brain is wasted on fantastical thoughts
and unrealistic expectations
That narrative you wrote in your head
doesn't actually exist
And if we don't tell the people we fall for
how we feel, are we supposed to go
through life wondering what if?
Cut the ******* cord
burn it to ash
God **** just tell that person
and who knows
the feelings may not last
A temporary feeling
They could just crumble away
and isn't that so true of the time we are given?
I won't let myself wait for you
We waste it away
and wonder years later
what happened to that person
we thought we loved so much
It was like a fire inside of my heart
the logs burned long and bright
Oh, but darling it was snuffed out
without a fight
I was never worth fighting for
And if you don't go down screaming
for the ones you love
what is the ******* point?
I want to feel ALL of you
the warm breath on my skin
Whispering nonsensical ********
into my ear
it doesn't even matter
or have to make sense
And to taste you would
be a sweet ******* dream
Always slightly out of reach
And that hail storm hits you
knocks you off that pedestal
where I so foolishly held you
And your fingers, those hands
once held this face, these hips
and I forgot what it felt like
to love, the way you taste
To have any ounce of hope
and it ******* hurts
Knowing I can't have you here
the way I want you
Unavailable in so many ****** ways
I crush my own heart
I don't need help from anyone else
And yet you are still here, not
actually here with me
An intangible thought
Your body makes me want
to commit sins the gods would
strike me down
for thinking such thoughts
Please, forgive me, I'll confess
Your lips leave me hanging here
like the former shell of a human
a ghost without a home
because home was always with you
I could turn these buildings to ash
with these flames inside of my chest
It was beautiful to watch it all burn
I was worth fighting for
We were worth fighting for
and you let it all go to ****
All of these moments with you
disappear into the abyss
© 2020 Christina Jackson