i choke on these words
that have fled from containment
i sob and i take
gulps of air like hydration

i starve to maintain
this excess of hate
that sits loud and patient
across my whole navel

i blame these sharp words
that sneak out through my teeth
they lash out at you
as you stare wide at me

my headlights alarming your doe eyes
(no malice apparent but it breeds behind light)
as i speak in these slices of sentencing spite
(then i silently lie and regret in the night)

thought i grew this act out,
but i caved it all in
let it push its way up
let it surface my skin
just to see myself lose
what i thought was a win