Outside is gargling with rain;
A displeasing pitter-patter of cloudburst spittle,
You sunlight absent, serotonin vampire, dooming me into this inferior place while water flows into canals frying golden leaves that pass and pass.

I glare and I glare at the whiteness of this page; my to-be creation and what will I create?
Sunburned arc eyes, shuttered, flickered flashes
I recalled, ‘I am a creature of the pen’,
she said: ‘My pen is the best of me’. We share a name you know?

It was 1988, a blizzard hastened its squally flakes
during my twenty-hour wait.
They groaned, they rumbled against the frail hospice window; mother had always said.
A grating cry creaked that February night;
the blizzard was worried stiff.
shall I write about the night I came to be?

So there I am a sprout germinating in the dark,
Birth towards decay.
A natural occurrence, if you know?
I expected so much more.
there is so much more to say.

But I shut my eyes and I am rushing and I am dashing
towards the end of the horizon.
I drop myself into the pool of dooming sunsets,
Be swallowed into darkness; sweet comfort of the unseen.
And after I howl my yowl,

I let it
hiss the birth
of an unfamiliar
miracle