I wonder
If someday
I’ll be able to close my eyes again
Without seeing you with him
Without visualizing all the details
I wonder
If someday
I can look at you, laughing
Without feeling that sting in me
The sting that means
That I won’t grow old with that laugh
That I can’t simply grab you
And kiss you
Because your little dimples are so cute
Because your sharp corner teeth are weirdly attractive
Because your heart speaks to mine
Only mine doesn’t speak to yours
And that makes my stomach feel like a fighting ring
Because I don’t know if I can ever
Not love you
Not long after you
Not feel like a stranded **** island
When I close my eyes
And see only you
With him.