Picture frame on a shelf,
Dreaming the baby I never got to hold,
In my arms, I wake holding self,
Each time taken leaves me cold,
The dream ends the same,
The black eyed demon takes her away,
Tears the goal in it’s twisted game,
Pleading to let her stay,
Laughing, holding her like a doll,
Rattling her at me,
Only groveling makes it stall,
Seconds added, more pathetic the plea,
Awakened in shuttered breath,
Flashes of running with her,
Her memory living an undying death,
Gone when I wake, usually all a blur,
Feeling guilt for trying to move on,
I didn’t give her support,
Didn’t notice love til she was gone,
I never gave her comfort,
Excuse of military doesn’t cajole,
A seed of guilt was sown,
Sprouting into a hole,
Emptiness I hone,
This nights dream was clear,
Vivid as day,
Demon drags me drowning in pit of beer,
Where the demon likes to play,
Submerged, I grip my child,
Feeling strings attached to her back,
Demons laughter running wild,
Swimming up, under attack,
Clawing onto shore,
I can’t cut the strings,
Details lost before,
I turn her over examining the things,
I pulled at one,
I hear a coo...
Arms flailed a ton.
When I pulled two,
She was cold,
Light in her eyes were out,
Truth began to unfold,
What the whole dream was a about,
Demon is of my own making,
Not my baby in its hand,
It is its hand, makeup flaking,
Beginning to understand,
Gestated by that hole of guilt,
Abomination of self blame and woe,
An altar of pain is what I built,
A demon catching my in the undertow,
I wasn’t there, I won’t pretend,
I blamed myself for her end,
Ridding this demon felt like killing her again,
Memory of the call crying for godsend,
In tears I begin to walk,
To starve it of my pain,
The demons cries echo and stalk,
Tearing down altar, the stain,
Burying double edged sword of abandon,
Just taking the lesson to learn,
Only way to fill the land in,
Away my head I turn,
Straying from my numbing revel,
To walk and let go,
Self made campaign, long and slow,
Dissecting a demon from my mental devil,
I’ll never forget you,
I can’t change that your gone,
Letting go, this will be new,
I think I’m ready to move on,
So true healing can begin,
More demons, quest after quest,
Seeking the light within,
To find peace and maybe find rest,