the only one i
have
ever seen a future with

i am afraid
you will tell me you don’t
love me
anymore

it gnaws
in my brain and
my dreams poke
fun at the fear

there is
no reason why
but perhaps attention
will shift from me

low maintenance is all
i want to be
you told me you’re burnt
out

of affection

scared hands turn to hover
i cry too much
and i hate myself for it

convinced myself you
probably are just busy
which you are
but then i fear

being four texts
in a row
feels like begging

you don’t know my
fear, he left me
without a hint

spent months selling out
for dopamine and affection
and only got a sore jaw

you held me when i cried
the first time i tried for you

i cry too much
and
i hate myself for it