It started off well,
"I really like spending time with you."
and my hope soared,
it was finally time.

We've talked every day
since December
98 days
across
435 miles
and since I've been back
we've traveled
45 minutes
each week for
6 weeks
just to see each other for
4-5 hours
and I've loved
every second.


Now it's February.
Month of love right?
Despite my lonely Valentines
I smiled because I have you.
The positivity I need in life
with as ****** as it can be.

I glanced at the clock in my car,
suspended in my time vortex,
then back to your beautiful blue eyes
when you dropped the ticking bomb
I'd been waiting for all this time.

3...2..1.

"I've been thinking and
right now
I'm too busy
to balance a
romantic relationship."
beat
Frozen.
beat
I took a second to recover
beat
and reassured him
that I understood.
beat
Split second panic
I moved the conversation on
but forgot the questions zipping
around in my head
and not on my lips.

I'd spent so many nights
dreaming about us.
Told friends and family
about us.
Was ok with everyone coupling up
because I thought
there was an us.
and we were perfect together

So as I sit here,
in my dark room,
wondering what this means,
and at a loss for what to do now
time ticks by
and I have no idea
what the future holds