I lost track of me
i got addicted
to the worst kind of drug


you

i struggled to realize  
how much you impacted
every choice, every action, every move

i can't wear that blue shirt
  because it reminds me of the way i
felt with you
the happiness, the smiles, the laughs

i can do this

i wore that shirt today
i didn't cry
but i did smile
not because of you
because the happiness that came from my friends
my teachers, who I see as parents
the boy, i call my best friend

i latched on to his hug for about 30 seconds longer than usual
he asked "you okay"
"all because of this"
i smiled and walked to class
happy