When my eyes are closed The world is beautiful Suspended in the ethereal sound Of my own mind working like A ticking clock There is music in here It reminds me of a simpler time Of green grass and the summer wind Laughter and peaches The sticky remains wetting my lips Almost like a kiss Or maybe The kiss is what lingered there Reminding me of the peaches instead The first laugh And the second And the third When I turn my sight from the present I can remember clearly Dancing in noiseless basements Lying on the asphalt of an abandoned driveway Entertaining the stars with our talks Discussions of the world and our dreams Of theories and beliefs and imaginings I can feel the bravery And the fear The shivering rush of you Making my spine quiver Oh I remember My heart has never raced so hard My blood was never so warm I experienced you less like a first love And more like a thunderstorm In awe and terrified all at once I've never missed fear before I fell in love with you The way the angels fell from heaven It felt like revival Like coming home Loving you felt like drowning And flying all at once The touch of your hand strengthened me The loss of it shattered me You were an earthquake A beautiful disaster The first truly lovely thing And the last truly devastating I loved you with urgency of a monsoon With the power of a raging flood With the mercy of the blooms in spring And the honesty of fresh fallen snow I grieved you when you left I'd never felt a pain so sharp A despair so intense Mourning the loss of you Was a darkness on my heart An island of anxious thoughts Endless nights and wary eyes My cheeks were chapped and raw Months were spent in silence I couldn't speak your name But I could scream it And I did I'd never begged before But my god I begged for you I bled myself dry for the stars Hoping for a glimpse Willing your face to appear At the bottom of those stairs and then It didn't That hole was never filled That place never taken Thunderstorms crumbled to dust The stars faded in the city light And rain felt like muddy pant legs Nothing was beautiful or true I found solace in the arms of strangers I became a stranger myself In the end I found myself missing you anyway Though the person I am doesn't know you And the person I was is gone My soul recognizes those eyes And it will never let you go