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Jan 2019
I said I wouldn't write about you
                                                            b­ut who am I
           to strip myself of what makes me live
in art I've surfaced my own sins

                                                           ­                      and some of yours.
                                                          ­                                         I suppose

I've taken space you've asked of me
                                                     needing to blockmyface
                                                     ­                    whenyouonceplaced
           my name into your skin

in a quiet champagne trip and
                                                    Gold
indente­d ribs

                                          Take a sip.

If it's "poison" that touches your lips

                                  THEN you could've skipped
                                                         ­              dipped
                                                          ­             flipped   me onto the piles of rubbled                   glass
torn from your walls
placed carelessly cornered or left simply to fall
                                                            ­                                       switched in
flip

some contorted reverse
                                            though my heart refuses to pin you as
                                      Perverse
     when these colors emerged


Two Years of swells i Chose to forget
                                                  each time that i stayed when I knew

i should've left.
When Everybody told me                      Better was Mine
                                       I wouldn't give in to believe that your heart was
                     Unkind.

From the moment I knew I'd clutched your stairway-ed arms
to
                 Ease My Ailing,
sweaty palms in driver-ed cars
Kermit Ruffins and philly beer bars
roller coasters, Christmas lights
                           endless pen-streamed journaled binds
An unopened book
                         pages still blank
                  more than a stitch to ease the pain of your name

   though i mustn't Complain
                                                        ­             ...and I still can't Rejoice

But I'll watch the sunrise through Uncommon windows
              trace folds of your fingers -- sweet struggled wake on your pillow
                            and dance foreign waltz in clipped black-wig nights
           plated sweet nourriture to watch your delight

Watch you dance decorated as I set in Pride
                                hold me to standards --yet bend when I'm Right

Speak to me softly in quiet teared nights
         tell me I'm beautiful when femininity cannot find
                                                            ­                                                 me
Drape me in curtains of love and Security
        Fit so Securely in the curves of my body

Smile in shyness--like absence of tongue
                as your cheeks lift to hide your eyes
                                                            ­                                  in thin rungs

Gold plates of your stomach and skin over hips
           saying my name through pleasurepursed lips
Pounding the pavement in carouseled times
  
not only Read, but Returned all my rhymes

The fortress is daunting
                     I'm brooding and swift
Sometimes the brick slips but the flips never Switch

So if russe folk dances and stealing lost tea
                     causes your coldness, just slightly, to bleed
                                       Remember what I did
                                                             ­                     --to, your troubles, ease
                               Don't say for this new year I didn't
Prioritize your Needs
                                       MARRY THEM, by all of all means
i never pushed you to choose, instead, me

I've learned my doors close,
       i woke to realize
                                             when those i thought open I faced and
                                                                ­  denied

because nothing matches the pulses and start
                  --the warmth in my chest when your palms
                                                                ­                                 press my heart

that's why with your Run i cannot understand
           feelings and highs
                                                           ­            unsustainable lands
I never demand     -       I never imply

                        but im also neverwrong
   and i can't shake  

                                                        ­                                         You and I.
ifiampoison
Kelly
Written by
Kelly  F
(F)   
583
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