there's a warmness to pain
like a sprout in an arid land
almost forbidden but yet welcomed
like a familiar enemy

a cushion in these thorns
the holes they pierce
a stab to the scabs
the reward is to feel

there are truths i can't tell
they can't be made words
not even in the presence of God
its the essence of my thoughts

there are enemies i can't un-love
mysteries i can't un-solve
lips i can't un-kiss
lips i can't resist

i saw my mother's boy
i saw my father's man
it took my mother's joy
it took my father's smile

here lies the man i refuse to be
in captivity i refuse to yield
in a skin that isn't me
in a place that is killing me