Every child knows there's monsters
Hiding in the closet and under the bed
But, I have a secret each child should know
And it's about a Galumpher instead....

Galumphers are watchers
They help keep the peace
They help keep the monsters in line
With three eyes on the closet
Three on the monster
And three more...did I mention they've nine?
They watch where you're going
And they keep out of sight
And you can sleep through the night mighty fine.

Galumphers aren't dangerous
They live under the bed
They eat socks and the occasional mouse
But, the one thing that's certain
With a Galumpher, well fed
You won't find bedroom monsters in your house

If you believe in those monsters
You'll believe in these too
They're as real as the monsters you fear
Just remember Galumphers
Are there eating your socks
And with them, the monsters aren't near

I've never seen a Galumpher
But I know they're real
I know this, because I once was a kid
My dad checked my closet
Before he'd turn out my light
Because I knew that's where monsters all hid

But, one night he told me
Of the Galumphers that watched
With their 5 ears and nine eyes to see
And as my socks all went missing
And the mice disappeared
The Galumpher became a friend to me

Should you meet a Galumpher
Out from under the bed
Just smile and pretend not to see
For he's probably out
To get the dust bunnies off
And to go and have a long ***.