everyday i want to say goodbye
instead of hello, bonjour, hi
everyday i want to seclude myself
instead of escaping this shelf

as i mingle with other people,
i see myself laughing,
laughing without feelings,
smiling with a heavy heart

i thought i healed, i succeeded,
this thorn pierced on my chest,
but it was all a lie,
i was anesthetized with illusions

what i always thought,
what i always felt;
all this time, i wasted,
to feel what i had to for myself