all feeling in my body gone
numb
the tears follow
my hand instinctively reaches for the blade
i pull down my sleeve
reminders of yesterday remain
no vacancies
i try again
i lift myself out of my clothes
my battered body reflected in the mirror
joy
my thighs still hold the colour of my skin
and not the rapidly familiar crimson dye
the blade makes its way down
the cold metal devours its target
1, 2, 3
66, 67, 68
83, 84, 85
and on it goes
all done