I feel so ******* depraved.
I'm out of touch, with myself.
I don't know what drives me anymore,
perhaps it's the most basic goal to live my life
and find my way to my grave.
To rest easy within the Dirt.
I am convince that there is no higher power
that could create such a living Hell,
nothing to save you.
I feel like a histrionic madman.
The insomnia, the drinking, the abuse
is all bad for this physical frame,
but it fuels the creative engine.
It provides a push to keep the drive going.
Is this enough to call myself self aware?
Is it possible to be my own judge, jury, and executioner?