When i was young, my skin was smooth and soft and un-ravaged. Then, I grew up, and my top and bottom cheeks sagged, and my laughter became a tangible memory around the corners of my eyes. Now, when I smile, there are dimples and there are lines, like the life-line and the love-line which are supposed to spell out my story on the palm of my hand. When I opened my eyes as a child, I saw brown water and blue skies and popsicles. I saw floats on a lake and boats and friends splashing in from a water-trampoline, yellow life jackets bobbing and children shouting. Now, I still see blue skies, but sometimes there are white clouds and sometimes grey. I see my mother with her own memories of laughter around her eyes and I see the crevices at the edges of my fatherβs mouth from smiling and frowning. I smell flowers now, and little boys inform me they're fuschia, and when I breathe at night my pillow smells like London and my room like lavender so I am home and abroad at once. Once, when I was sad, I would think mommy and daddy mommy and daddy. Now, when I am afraid, I think mommy mommy daddy I miss you. I sleep in a twin bed and I tickle myself and it is like I am in kindergarten but now my fantasies are slicker and harsher but they still paint pictures of a school girl. I lay in shivasna when I was young yet not old, and I saw a peach pit uncovered, and it transcended back in time to a baby, just born in the world, and I realized how it is we can die before our bodies do, how our minds can leave even though we physically stay.