Sep 2018
If I were to die tonight,
Will anyone ever wonder
Where I go
Or how I went?
If I were to die tonight,
Will my research
Be finished without me
And my friends graduate?
If I were to die tonight,
How will I ever explain
Not going back to school, or passing my requirements?
Will my teachers even care, or will they fail me?
If I were to die tonight,
Will a seat be empty
During the college entrance test
At the testing site?
If I were to die tonight,
Will a classroom ever notice
How one student is gone?
Or will they simply dismiss it as me being late?
If I were to die tonight,
Will all my bad memories
Dissipate into the air,
Or will people still talk bad about me?
If I were to die tonight,
Will all my mistakes vanish
Or am I taking all of them to my grave,
Dying with humiliation?
If I were to die tonight,
How will I be remembered?
Am I simply a stupid kid,
Or am I just dust of the Earth?
If I were to die tonight,
Will my family ever realize
How much I've been asking for help
But they simply dismissed it?
Will anyone ever wonder
Where I go
Or how I went?
If I were to die tonight,
Will my research
Be finished without me
And my friends graduate?
If I were to die tonight,
How will I ever explain
Not going back to school, or passing my requirements?
Will my teachers even care, or will they fail me?
If I were to die tonight,
Will a seat be empty
During the college entrance test
At the testing site?
If I were to die tonight,
Will a classroom ever notice
How one student is gone?
Or will they simply dismiss it as me being late?
If I were to die tonight,
Will all my bad memories
Dissipate into the air,
Or will people still talk bad about me?
If I were to die tonight,
Will all my mistakes vanish
Or am I taking all of them to my grave,
Dying with humiliation?
If I were to die tonight,
How will I be remembered?
Am I simply a stupid kid,
Or am I just dust of the Earth?
If I were to die tonight,
Will my family ever realize
How much I've been asking for help
But they simply dismissed it?
If I were to die tonight, will anyone truly raise awareness for other kids with suicidal tendencies?
Because no matter how much people are raising awareness on a national scale, people locally treat it with little to no care. There's so much stigma surrounding depression and suicide. If you were to tell someone you feel depressed or suicidal, chances are they'll say "get over it" "you're overreacting" "you just want attention" "its not that bad, at least you have a home" "you should be thankful to God since he gave you life" "you have it better than ____" "suicide is a sin and being depressed is a sign of lack of faith", and these kinds of thinking ****.
I can't take it anymore.
Because no matter how much people are raising awareness on a national scale, people locally treat it with little to no care. There's so much stigma surrounding depression and suicide. If you were to tell someone you feel depressed or suicidal, chances are they'll say "get over it" "you're overreacting" "you just want attention" "its not that bad, at least you have a home" "you should be thankful to God since he gave you life" "you have it better than ____" "suicide is a sin and being depressed is a sign of lack of faith", and these kinds of thinking ****.
I can't take it anymore.
