I'll save the poems of deepest despair
for when you are dead or gone.
You are my only friend and someday
I might be your wife if you survive.
I'm committed to you for the long term.
Today I have logged out of all my
Social media accounts I won't return.
I don't want to see my nieces and
nephews grow up on Facebook
knowing I'll never see them in real life.
I don't want to deal with my Aunts
bouts of jealousy because she is being
mentally abused by her husband.
I don't want to feel a hacker looking
over my shoulder when I like a post.
I don't want to be reminded of all the
people who won't talk to me because
I don't have a job and think I'm the blame.
Facebook calls them friends.
Instagram calls them followers.
To me it's all the same they are fake.
I'm most likely fake to them too.
Honestly people it isn't an insult.
The hacker has won because I'm back
inside of my cave once again.
It's amazing how isolating social media is.
God won't answer my prayers for peace
but I don't believe he is mean at all.
Someday there won't be anymore
humans in my life that is a fact.
I doubt that I'll survive but then
again everyone has to die someday.
The feeling of wanting to die is
like crashing through a glass door.
Maybe I am more emotional
because I am going down to a
Lower dose of prednisone but
this doesn't make all that I wrote
any less true.