One day, 6 years ago
suddenly it was there
I didn't see it coming
it crawled under my skin
into my head
settled in my thoughts

One day, 6 years ago
I started to feel
how no one should feel
ugly
unworthy
unlovable
suddenly I felt uncomfortable
in my forever home

One day, 6 years ago
my skin
my own body became my prison
my head
my own thoughts felt like hell

One day, 6 years ago
I stopped
eating
sleeping
I became someone
I never imagined to be

One day, 5 years ago
I somehow started to recover
I learned to be good on my own
that I don't need anybody
I recovered on my own

One day, 4 years ago
I realized
those thoughts and habits never left
but it didn't matter
I somehow managed to live with them

One day, 3 years ago
those thoughts became worse
I hid them
no one was allowed to see all this
all this **** that's going on in my head

One day, 2 years ago
I lost every loved one
I felt like I'm losing myself
still with a smile on my face

One day, 1 year ago
I realized how bad i became again
I realized I never truly recovered
my mind was hell itself

One day, today
I haven't become better
but that is not my worst
I want to become better
I truly want to become better.