I wish i could feel
Those dearly hated emotions
That kept me up for days.
The ones that broke me down
And put me through the haze
Of emptiness.
I want my life to go crumbling
Down on me like
Raindrops on a sunny day.
I crave destruction,
I crave self-hate,
I crave it as much as an alcoholic
Craves alcohol
Because I don't deserve to be fine.
I don't deserve happiness,
I want it all to go away.
The blade that left
More than figurative scars
Is so tempting,
Yet it doesn't feel the same.
I feel pathetic and no good.
I want that blade to hit my skin
And be self-destructive.
I want to be this way again,
But i don't.
I wish I could be normal