I care.
Of corse I care.
I know you think I’ve forgotten,
That I’ve moved on.
Its hard to move on when I feel like we did nothing wrong.
When I know I still want to whisper words to you.
The same few I said when you smiled at me. That moment was perfect.
I didn’t need you to say it back. I never have. But I hoped that one day you could.
It frightens me that I will never feel that, or any other word from you ever again. And that the last thing you said was ‘it never had to be this way’. It did. I opened up my heart to you, but you had a boyfriend, so I went. True I left. I couldn’t be your friend, because thats what loving you meant. A certainty too intense. Else, I was stuck in limbo surrounded by white walls, a room slowly filling with black paint until… until. I saw him through the ripples in dark liquid, feeling you, clueless of what you really mean. My life was in perpetual pause in front of a big-screen projection. Waiting for the hoping for the moment of a day, when you hold me and our heartbeats melt in pendulous sway.