**** every you that ever told me you loved me when you didn’t mean it
Every you that ever only wanted ***
Every you that could only say yes
Every you that ever looked into my eyes like they were yours
**** every you that tore them from my head
**** every you that treated me like a prize, showed me off to your friends like a deer you shot to mount on your wall
To burn and eat out that night
Every you that told me that was alright
**** every you promising friendship like some kind of peace treaty between my legs
To dump my emotionally convenient available *** when your crush sparks a crush for you
Every you that pushed me below your belt line
Every you that called me “mine”
Every you every time you grabbed my waistline like another bottle to get drunk off of
And in the morning you notice it’s still in your bed, find the cap, walk it home, drink another next weekend
Every you who had that plan
Who took me out to the woods to smoke and **** in the back of your mom’s mini van
**** every you who texted me after
After ******* just to leave, after leaving just to see you’re now ******* my best friend and you didn’t ******* tell me
Every you who texted me after, after saying you wanted to forget
When I thought that I did
**** every you who made me cry behind a bathroom door, whether you were in the next room or not with me anymore
**** every you who ever made me feel like a woman and that’s all that I was
**** every you who fell into every drunk college guy stereotype
Because you didn’t feel the need to be anything better
For my sake
Or yours
Because I want to be something more than some party boy’s ***** but when I’m always alone, company in my bed is better than nothing at all
**** every you who knew that
And used that
Who found me when I was manic, saw threw that, and abused that
**** every you I’m still friends with
Every you who told me you love her more than anyone else you’ve been with
And I know that one’s so selfish but **** it, ours was my favorite relationship
You were the only you I was in love with
Now I keep ******* all these men but let me tell you, Loneliness is a woman I sleep with every night
She holds me more tender and she leaves on the lights
She fists my gut and she eats out my mind
I’m tired of staying awake with her by my side
But I still feel empty when there’s someone inside
I wish I could take the objectivity and remove it
I already feel like my body isn’t real, I don’t need some **** boi to prove it
I want to be treated like all that I am: A woman, and everything else
I want to **** a man, a woman, a person, not because I want someone, but because I want them
I want to kiss a you I actually know
I want to care about a you who cares if I go
And you know,
**** every me that couldn’t say no