I'm sick and tired of every liar that crosses my path
Give me a break
And for your own sake take a wooden stake and drive it through your blood thirsty vampire heart
I know you like to see me bleed with each crooked deed I do for you and I fear that I’ll fall into your trap but I’m already wrapped up in those arms
The arms that I once called home
The arms that kept me safe in every place I went
The arms that bent my stick straight spine into a frayed piece of manipulated twine
Which time after time has formed my mind into a cynical beast that can do nothing but feast on the negatives it hears
While also being all ears to the positives that appear
I see the good in everyone except me yet how can it be that I shouldn't get that drink for free
I think so low of myself and my health suffers from it but I get offended when I'm rejected and another pretty doll faced girl is selected over me
You smile when I fall and crawl to your feet like a little puppy after being beat
I scamper and whine for a savior or something divine to intervene and help me find the green light out of here
But it’s dark with no color in sight despite the flicker of my imagination
I go back to fear because that’s all I know now and there are few emotions I can show so how will this work if you constantly irk the angry part of my lying brain
I'm going around round round insane
I'm literally going insane and it's vain for anyone to think they can tell me how to feel or how to heal because if you're not living this battle you have no say so on any given day I have a right to be sad and a right to be mad and if that makes you upset then my best bet would be that you should flee because I'm going to keep being me
I can't live my current life and I don't see any positive end in sight but I'm hanging on tight for you and those who care and even those who just sit blankly and stare
I see you
And you see me
But neither of us say a thing until we've passed
Then the whispers begin and yeah envy is a sin, but I wish I was like you
Normal and happy not constantly sappy waiting for another day to go by so I can pop my pill and get my mental fill for a few seconds before being empty
I'm numb when I'm on drugs and it's hard for me to find pleasure in even the lovely lightening bugs
I used to smile and chase them with bare hands and feet
Now I sit idle and my eyes follow them, glazed over in defeat
I feel like the thoughts seep from my brain and although it sounds lame I often find myself repeating, "What was I going to say?"
I forget how to hang onto a thought or a phrase and I can't even raise an insightful question anymore
I'm only part of me and who I used to be but it's better than constantly being angry
I take this medicine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
Hoping one day it'll make me thinner yet I know deep inside that once again I have lied
To myself and my friends and that regardless in the end
No matter what I say there will be someone I offend
Because I'm rude and ruthless and wholly disrespectful
I'm a mess on two legs and dude to tell you the truth I'm a handful
I can barely handle myself or suppress my mean mental health
Oh well, but it ***** being told that you're kind of a bad person
But it's okay because everyone see's it and acknowledges it, so it must just be the way you are
Less than sub par and far from ideal I struggle with what to say and how to feel so it'd be better if I just stopped talking
Yeah, drop it all and stop talking