leonardo, michelangelo, bramante
i’m drowning in my chair in the back
of this art history class that has an
unfortunate association with you
in my stupid brain and the way
the high renaissance style reminds me of
my life when you         (when you, cared)
i painted the walls in shot color
the pinks and dark reds shined
through my cheeks, did you know
how much i cared?
or that raphael left perugino out
of his most famous painting
hanging on the walls of the vatican
and now his memory is fading
like i wish you would.
i excavate my brain every day
trying to find the reason why
why i care so ******* much.
why you could **** and bury your feelings
with ease like they were never real
were you even real?
or did i dream up your laugh
while sitting in the corner of my room,
combining feathered pillows and laundry beads
with wax from my favorite candle and there you are
born in my brain like an invasive species choking my veins
gasping for air as we watched the stars
in your driveway or maybe it was pompeii.
it felt like standing in ruins
i watched the things our brains can’t say cut
through the stone falling around our bodies.
did you notice everything we destroyed?
i could have flooded the colosseum
with the tears i held back
i wish you cared
i wish you knew
that i write poetry about the things you love
because you said you’d make me love it too
                              but i learned without you