I want to be mad
I want to be mad but I can’t be mad because it’s not your fault that your life is moving faster than mine
I want to be mad but I can’t because every time I almost get mad and I almost yell and I almost throw something
I’m sad
I’m sad and then it’s hard to move and it’s too hard to yell and it’s hard to do anything but cry
I’m sad because you’re beautiful and I love you and you love me but soon you won’t be mine to love anymore
And that hurts more than it angers me
I still feel like if I love you hard enough then you won’t leave
Even though it’s not true
And when I remember that you’re leaving anyways I try so **** hard to feel angry so that I don’t have to feel sad
I’m still sad
I’m still so sad
So sad that it’s hard to eat
So sad that if I laugh it makes me cry
So sad that it gets hard to breathe
And if only my ******* stove worked I could make some tea with honey and calm down
And if only I could close out my computer tabs so I wouldn’t have to look at the  birthday presents I can’t get you
And if only you weren’t leaving me I wouldn’t have to wish I was angry just so I don’t have to be so, so sad